One Way Or Another

I am one of those people who did not believe we were invading Iraq for the right reasons. I felt at the time we were being lied to and this week's polished PR performance by Tony Blair in the lead up to his testimony at the Iraq Inquiry only made my beliefs more firm.

For a man so devote and steeped in faith, it's disgusting that his convictions were so tainted. There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein was an evil man but the only danger he posed was to his own people - he was an international spent force. That alone is not a reason for regime change and it was a far cry from the botched and flawed gimmickry of concocting a reason when we did invade. In his own mind, Blair is blameless - he killed a worse man than he. But in the minds of the friends and relatives of the soldiers who died during the whole fiasco, he is little better than the evil dictator he sent them to fight.

This is the man who is a Middle East Peace Envoy, who wanted to be the inaugural EU President, who would want a Nobel Peace Prize, who wants a place in his history. For me, the only place for him in my memory is as a lying, egotistical sham of a man who did no good for this country. To my mind, along with George W Bush, he should be tried for War Crimes as the war they started in Iraq was illegal and contrary to the wishes of the UN. Since his time as PM, he has busied himself making money - he could not get away from the squalid world of the sleazy politics he was involved in fast enough, or the puerile relationship with Gordon Brown and then distance him from the mess he created that we all live in. He spent time, expertly creating the rewritten history of the 'Blair Years' to convince us of a new story to bathe himself in glory even though we had witnessed the same history at first hand. Largely, people swallowed it and a new generation of 'Blair Apologists' rose - who cannot wait for his autobiography which is probably being rewritten as we speak so that he can give us an updated version of his lies.

I never saw the man as the shining beacon of a new world or glossy New Labour - I saw him and Mandelson for the slimy creeps they are. Lying, shady and, ultimately, guilty of crimes against humanity.

His is a Faith I want no part of.

It's Payback Time

If Silvio Berlusconi 'fingered' you for a particular role, I should think most of us would feel distinctly uncomfortable and start looking over their shoulder.

As David Mills has found out, there can be a high price for helping him out even if the initial rewards are good. So I wonder how Tony Blair must be feeling now, having just been endorsed by the Italian PM as the 'ideal' candidate for the new role enshrined in the Lisbon Treaty of EU Presidency. Currently, Mr. Blair is busy squeezing being a Middle East Envoy in between earning an estimated £12m since leaving office in 2007 in various other roles as writer, public speaker, non-executive director and adviser on globalisation to people willing to pay £2m a year for his wisdom.


Only the ratification of the Czech Republic stands in the way of the appointment which Berlusconi wants confirmed as soon as is 'legally' possible. The word 'legal' must send a shiver down his spine for the man who describes himself as, 'The most persecuted man in the world'. There are no suggestions of favours being called in although those with good memories will remember that the Blairs have enjoyed multiple free holidays at various Berlusconi properties in Tuscany and Sardinia. But as Tony's good friend, Peter Mandelson, knows there are always such things as free lunches and holidays on £80m yachts and the like. Just tell the public that you discussed the weather and they will believe you.


My memories are of Berlusconi smiling and greeting with a bandanna as his hair was busy being transplanted and dyed while dreaming of nubile young girls. It is as good as endorsement as Blair will get as Sarkozy and Merkel are rumoured to have not endorsed him while he is unlikely to get it from Chairman Brown.

Where's George W Bush when you need him?

Hoon Pays Back For Inadvertent Mistake

Geoff Hoon has unreservedly apologised and paid back part of the money he owes in what he described as 'Inadvertent administrative error.'

The error occurred when he was appointed Defence Secretary and, along with the Cabinet, sent our servicemen to war in Afghanistan and Iraq. Administratively, he had overlooked the legality of the war in Iraq and had been party to several claims by the Government that Iraq had Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) contrary to UN direct regulations. To ensure we all believed it, his department, under interim command by General Alistair Campbell, concocted a brief which claimed such weapons could be deployed in 45 minutes and rain bombs on the heads of every British citizen no matter where they were. Inadvertently, he ignored the fact that Hans Blix, the UN inspector, had not found any WMD and had pleaded for more time, Hoon ordered servicemen to invade Iraq. Subsequently, the administrative error of finding no WMD was discovered and made the war illegal in International Law - a minor point which was balanced by the fact that God had given Tony Blair a pure heart in deciding to invade. Subsequently Blair is now rewriting the Bible to update God to the modern day as God is still wearing flares and open top shirts when he should be wearing a hood. The fact that God has existed for billions of years and only fallen behind fashion in the last 2,000 years is another administrative error on behalf of the Pope.

Inadvertent Loss of Life

On a more personal front, Hoon had 'inadvertently' sent our servicemen to war with inadequate equipment and any plan. These oversights were deemed inconsequential particularly as the major thrust was to support anything the US and its President said so that Tony Blair could be made an international hero. Due to an 'administrative' error, Hoon forgot some simple things like adequate boots to walk about in the desert, effective body armour to protect against incredibly fast moving, sharp objects like bullets and shrapnel, proper vehicles with good armour plating which might withstand roadside bomb blasts, bullets or grenade attacks, lined fuel tanks in aircraft with foam in order to stop instant explosion due to a hot bullet piercing its skin and igniting the highly flammable fuel inside. There were too many more instances to list due to an administration oversight and I inadvertently forgot to mention Deepcut Barracks where a systematic cover up is occurring which probably first happened under his tenure as Defence Secretary.

None of these minor oversights have cost a great deal, Hoon argues. It was far more important to make money as a Minister on his second home allowances and claiming service charges on his homes when he had grace-and-favour accommodation. However, he should be beatified for his munificence in paying back some £380 which is worth approximately £1 for every life he caused to lose in illegal wars, and there was nothing left over for the inadvertent errors that ruined the futures of all those maimed or wounded in those wars.

Hoon sleeps easy tonight knowing his conscience is clear and is pathetic neck is saved. It is indeed some neck - the neck of a hero of this nation.

More Inadvertent Loss

In separate inadvertent error, Gordon Brown, lost his marbles. He described Chancellor Alistair Darling as doing a 'great job' when in fact he has shown total incompetence and cost the nation £billions in extra borrowing. However, other Ministers have pointed out that what Brown meant was that if you take away the fact we have ploughed some £40bn into saving banks and put up around £1.3trillion in loans, capital and guarantees and keep getting our borrowing requirements wrong by the odd tens of billions, may have our credit rating slashed, have pushed unemployment beyond 2 million, then the Chancellor has indeed done a great job of at least fiddling his expenses.

Alistair Darling, Geoff Hoon and Gordon Grown were inadvertently unavailable for comment due to having their head up their own backsides looking for expense claim forms.

Why MPs Put Off Leaving

You may think it curious why MPs who have seen the light and the tide of opinion against them, then effectively own up and resign, wait until the next election to stand down. You might have thought they should go immediately and let the public vote while their memories are fresh.

As with the very facts of their departure being involved in grabbing what they can, so to is their actual leaving. You see, if they leave immediately and force a by-election, then they stand to forfeit an incredibly lucrative send off.

Rather like Premiership Football 'Golden Parachutes' for relegated teams who may find life in the Championship so hard after spending so much money in the top flight, get a large pay off, so too do MPs. It is all about helping them adjust to the real world of employment, allegedly.

It seems incredible to the rest of the population who if they have to leave their job having failed (except of course if you are a senior banking official whose end package is set by a Government Minister) that MPs should be allowed a massive pay off for any reason. But they do.

Of course, the PM especially does not want a whole load of by-elections to see his majority eroded badly, particularly as he is cowering in the corner awaiting the MEP etc votes. But the outbound MPs are particularly eager to wait for their pay offs.

Naturally, Hogg, Mackay, McBride, Morley, Moran, Steen, the Wintertons, Viggers, McCartney, Fraser, Chapman and Conway will be busy putting their capabilities around to major companies for lucrative non-executive director roles, plus Trust Chair positions and whatever else they can get their hands on - maybe EU Commissioners. Mandelson found that a lovely little earner for a disgraced politician with lots of little sideline extras like playing on £80m yachts with Russian Oligarchs who wanted favours at the EU. They all have as much as a year to sort out their CVs and life in 'Civvy Street' which is paved with gold for money-grabbers of their calibre.

Golden Goodbyes

I am not talking about Tom Dalyell's £18,000 'bookcases' ordered before he retired, that was chicken feed. The pay offs for outbound MPs at the next election will depend on grants, age, service etc but will vary from a slim £32,000 for McBride to over £60,000 for her hubby, Mackay - so the dynamic duo will have around £96,000 between them. They represent the wide spectrum of payments to all the departing. Naturally, the first £30,000 is tax free - so they will feel it is just like having their allowances all over again only this time they won't have to make up reasons why we should pay.

I am sure we could think of more appropriate payments for each of these and be a little more precise about when they should go. But as with most things to do with politics, the opinion of the voters is the last thing to be consulted. We get that opportunity once every 6 years and that is the last time they give a fig for what we think.

How Will The Public Vote?

One of the concerns that senior politicians have, and I heard Lord Tebbit and Peter Hain discuss this on a late night radio program recently, is that people will not bother turning out to vote as they are so disillusioned with the whole thing. I suspect that in the case of MEP elections that will be the case. Few voters identify with what happens in the European Parliament - it is a black hole that drains money.

Do you know that the office allowance for MEPs is £175,000 for each of them? They have wisely stopped them employing family members but most in the UK work from home or cheap offices, so the allowance is absurdly high - but they use it.

I believe people will shun that vote as hardly any of us can think of the name of a single MEP, I don't know who my local representative is, and the European Parliament makes the most stupid of laws that most of us can't be bothered with. That we are indifferent is because the whole European Federation is a complete mess and is just a money sump run mainly by France and Germany, and British politicians who have failed at local level. That's the common view - well mine at least.

But, I think a General Election may be different. The US has just had one of the most amazing elections and the voting population turned out in droves to vote for change - and they got it. Finally, there was a glowing advert for radical opinion and action - a vote against a disastrous double term that has set particularly US foreign policy and finances back years.

I have a suspicion that Britain will do the same. The problem we have is that there is no Barack Obama - the opposition party leaders are like sniping puppies. They have no minds of their own. The departure of MPs is a good example. If they had courage, conviction and sense they would have made each of their own MPs stand down immediately and seek a by-election at those seats. This would have been a powerful message back to Government on the mood of the people - it also would have stopped those who stole most getting any more.

But that is British Politics. It is the same old system. Antiquated, over-manned, laborious and corrupt - it is time to have a massive rethink on how our Governing system should be structured and come up with new ideas not tinker with old. The fact that the Speaker leaving has caused such a furore is indicative of a status quo which serves all who seek a career in politics. You can fail, have out of date opinions and survive. I do not agree with Parliament being a popularity contest but in this modern age we deserve far better than we have and far more say in how our money and votes are used.

In a conversation just yesterday it augmented my opinion that corrupt, self-seeking politicians sent our young soldiers into at least one unjust war that they had no strategy or plan for, were not prepared for in terms of kit and at a time when we were taking away regiments. There was zero conscience involved and Blair just tried to justify the whole thing with a circular argument that related to the fact that insurgents were fighting after we went in. He displayed all the trappings of Medieval pious people who justified their actions on the Will of God instead.

The world has changed - we should fight politicians who abuse our vote to wage illegal wars and make policies which fail us. Our vote next time round will be on corruption but in amongst all our anger about expenses and greed we should remember that this Government have failed us - long before they were outed for the rotten eggs we all thought they were.

Let's keep that in mind on the day that another two brave kids have died in Afghanistan.