First Dog To Be Inaugurated

Portuguese Water Dog, thought to be named Moose, is set to be sworn in as First Dog later this week. He has already pledged he will get rid of cats and introduce compulsory butt-sniffing for identification purposes.

President 'Moose' Obama, is to be rescued from political oblivion after intervention by Senator Ted Kennedy who has given his personal recommendation for the candidate that apparently swayed the voting in the Obama family.

'They are political animals,' said Sen. Kennedy. 'I have two of them and they have kept me and my family out of controversy for many years, helped on my decision making particularly while driving and they are defence experts. Besides they are better than the bald rats proposed by the guy in Peru.'

Longest Election Campaign In History

The election victory comes at the end of a long campaign which started at the vote winning speech by Barack Obama in Chicago when he pledged that his daughters would have a dog. It was the first Presidential order he signed with ditching Guantanamo Bay coming a distant second.

'Every President needs a dog,' said President Obama. 'Look what it did for George W Bush - he even made Christmas addresses to the people with his. I plan to make every policy decision in conjunction with the First Dog, just after he has his daily constitutional. His paw will be on the Red Button should the time comes - rest assured, my fellow Americans, if it comes to oblivion, I'd rather a dog choose it than me.'

Portuguese Water Dogs are known for their energy and intelligence and have a thick, tight, curly black coat that almost shields their eyes from view which makes them ideal helicopter pilots. They also have the benefit of being one of the few breeds of dogs which are hypoallergenic, which was critical in the choice by the electorate.

Sen. Kennedy's Water Dog, Splash, even featured as narrator in a children's guide to US politics called 'My Senator and Me: A dog's eye view of Washington DC' which was ground-breaking if unintelligible and focused mainly on the lampposts suitable for urinating on.

'I am proud to endorse the Portuguese water Dog as the First Dog of The United States of America,' said Sen. Kennedy back in January. 'They have a can-do and hopeful spirit. They are smart. They are resilient. They are determined. They are optimistic. And they are tireless. Sounds like the perfect fit for the Obama family and his Administration.'

President 'Moose' Obama is expected to have his own office in the White House and not be in the Oval Office as a continuous wall may confuse his urinating habits.