Well I ask you. All I was trying to do was to call and tell him to stop wittering on about 'Global Confidence' and Gordon wouldn't even take my call. But at least it brought a smile to his otherwise dour face.
As GB gibbered on about 'It is time for the world to face the crisis as one', having just muttered something about 2009 being the year when the world 'came together' to tackle the economic crisis, my head was starting to spin. As he then went on to warn about 'creeping protectionism' I began to lose the will to live and so I decided to call him. Thankfully the call interrupted his drone and brought a smile to everyone's face - even his.
Word Games
Protectionism seems to be in the 'in' word at the moment. The Chinese Premier used it in his speech which upset GB as he had laid first claim on it and threatened to impose sanctions on China if the word was not retracted with a formal apology before his speech. In rushed behind the scenes diplomacy, it was decided that the country with a budget surplus could use the word first, although those with borrowing higher than 57% of GDP could have second use.
There are further talks going on to agree on the meaning of the word after Japan and China had imposed tariffs on imports to keep their local products first in sales yet were using the word liberally. There was vague agreement that 'protectionism' could be applied to banks only lending to companies and consumers in their own country which was seen to harm global trade and exacerbate the problems. Most nodded ascent on this point and so Mr. Brown ploughed on with the point, "The thing we know about protectionism is that it protects nobody and least of all the poor."
Many nodded their heads sagely before saying, 'Eh?'
Protecting Jobs
GB's point was that it was high priority for political and business leaders to rise to the economic challenges and act to help those worried about losing their jobs. I may be a bit thick here but isn't that part of the point about protectionism? Anyway, the PM pushed on regardless to applaud the US in the main for pumping money into the economy as part of 'The largest ever Fiscal Stimulus' to which there were many in the audience who tittered at the economic innuendo, several were openly embarrassed and at least one Financier shouted 'This is outright financial pornography' before storming out throwing his papers in the air in revulsion.
"We have a choice what happens next," GB said stridently. "It is time for action and it is a time for having the confidence to act......It is trust that we have to rebuild as a result of the credit crisis and the failure of the banking system."
I love it - as usual GB was distancing himself from the cause of all this which he has put down to the sub-prime scenario in smalltown America. The fact that Governments and Regulatory bodies just sat by doing nothing does not seem to enter his mind or his conscience. Once again, we see fingers pointing solely at the banks, yet hardly a bank in the last 10 years could have survived the most simple test of liquidity if the derivative scam had suddenly ground to a halt. Trust, I would argue has to be rebuilt in the Political system too - the one that told us we had a rock solid economy that would not be affected by a recession, would survive better than others if it did and had a bedrock built on the value of people's homes.
It would be just nice to see Brown just show a bit of humility, puff out his jowls and admit he blew it.
G20 and Away!
So it is all eyes on the G20, the global economics equivalent of the Olympics and coincidentally being held in London, probably at some hastily erected new building to keep in spirit of the Government bringing forward large spending projects because we are short of a few. There seems to scepticism about whether there can be a collective, global action to tackle the economic problems.
If Brown is anything to go by, his blatant protectionism was shown when he threatened to launch law suits on Icelandic banks if they did return savers' money. As noble as that may have seemed, it was hardly a nice gesture to a country that was quite literally going bankrupt and equally if you are prepared to allow foreign banks to lend you must allow them to take deposits if they need to - and if they hit problems well that's the rough and the smooth surely?
I have great sympathy for private savers but what on earth were Local Authorities doing putting money into foreign, less protected accounts just to earn a shaving of a percent of interest more? Who allowed them to do this in the first place and who in these Local Authorities is qualified to make such investment decisions? And it wasn't just a few spare quid it was nearly £1bn of rate-payers' money? Why was it not paid back to the rate payer to invest themselves and asked for only when they actually needed it?
I don't know - I'm no expert but I can't help feeling Brown's rallying calls are signs of a growing desperation to help Britain out as our economy is so dependent on foreign investment in the City particularly, without it Britain could well be a spent force in the world of high finance. It also seems it's pretty much one way - GB seems to be saying invest in us but we are not going to do anything for you, but I may be wrong.
One last line of hope from GB was a touching reminder of the global commitments to climate change policy and helping Third World countries. Well, the wasted money put into propping up the fat cats in the banks might have been much more happily received in parts of starving Africa. Once again, epitomising the New Labour years, we see wasted opportunity.
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