Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Nice Apology - Now Where is The Money?

Jaqui 'Does Redditch' Smith gave us a good bit of humble pie, complete with treacly goo and custard yesterday. A big 'Awww, bless' from the audience please.

Sir Thomas 'I'm not pulling your' Legg concluded that she was not to blame for claiming the box room at her sister's flat in London where she stayed while in London was her primary residence. Her account of how often she stayed there differed from the police guarding her but no matter - genuine mistake.

The genuine, administrative and wholly understandable mistake inadvertently allowed her to claim over £116,000 on expenses for her family home in Redditch, where her personal assistant, in the form of her taxpayer paid for husband, was busy watching TV late at night with a box of tissues handy, although records show he did not have a cold. On those cold, lonely nights at the secondary residence, he and the family enjoyed watching all manner of films, and expenses clocked up nicely.

The committee studying all this agreed that the dodgy film claims were not a one off affair either. All in all, she was found guilty of abusing the system and her husband of abusing himself, but unlike her fearless and heroic leader who was ordered to repay some £12,500 of over cleaning bills and a Sky subscription (is there a pattern here?), she was asked to merely apologise.

It just goes to prove that crime does pay in modern Britain. Just become an MP, abuse the system knowingly and then just apologise. You keep what you stole, solve your husband's erectile issues, keep your job, the pay and carry on as if nothing has happened. He official statement basically put it that she was unfairly treated as the rules clearly allowed her to rip off taxpayers. Of course, we should feel privileged to fund her life and that of her husband. For mere mortals like us, the law would never have been so forgiving.

Meanwhile, in defiance of the Brown edicts on paying back expenses, many Labour MPs are joining ranks with Alan Duncan in claiming they have been unfairly asked to pay things back as if on 'rations'. Bless their poor hearts, after all, the rule book was the issue not the thieving swines who took what they could. We should be delighted to pay for all those cleaning, gardening, home help and meal bills - the sort of things our employers and the taxman encourage us to have in our every day life. Not.

Ah, the rekindling of the flame of shame will find MPs in hearty resolve. They are no longer on the back foot as idiots like me will have forgotten that they are pack of pilfering thieves taking our money, abusing their roles and ruining our country. This time around Jacqui is on the front foot, playing the ball straight back down the pitch and her husband no longer has a 'sticky wicket'.

Business as usual - nothing to see here, move along now. The show is over.

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