The ECB has been in a right mess of late. Not least because the absurd situation that developed around the rift between former coach, Peter Moores, and his Captain, Kevin Pietersen, which resulted in both being dismissed which showed a lack of management skills, but they then followed it up with the piece de resistance when the saviour of English 20-20 cricket, Sir Allen Stanford, was arrested for a $9bn financial fraud.
So, the theory is, having bungled monumentally lately, they are taking no chances in appointing the new coach, ready for the vital Ashes Series this Summer.
The Next Cock Up
In doing so, the ECB has hired Executive Headhunting firm Odgers Ray & Berndtson to handle the recruitment process.
Clang!
Yes, for those of us in industry, ORB have a decent reputation in their field although many would argue most of these headhunting agencies are just glorified CV sifters who have zero experience in industry so would have difficulty spotting and motivating talent even if it came up and slapped them in the face with a damp kipper. So expecting them to have the ability to find a cricket coach is about as stupid as organising a pointless triangular tournament for $20m prize money in the Caribbean not even between two countries.
Besides I don't think anyone in ORB has any experience of Test cricket barring watching the odd game in a Corporate Box unless I'm mistaken - that has never stopped Headhunters talking a fine story in industry in the past but I would assert some knowledge of the sport would be pretty essential outside of reading Wisden.
Again, Giles Clarke, the CEO of the ECB, excels himself in his ability to waste money and time in producing an array of the usual suspects that he could have read the back pages of most newspapers and found out for himself. Quite why he thought that an Executive Headhunting firm could have read those pages better or quicker than he or his management is quite beyond belief.
The Suspects
So the Headhunters have drawn up a short list. Miraculously they all are something to do with cricket, although only two of them have really played any Test cricket, one of the others had a game or two and one only played just 7 games in first class cricket - perhaps they should have looked at some decent pub cricket coaches too. Listening to the likes of Geoff Boycott, Ian Botham, Nasser Hussein and Jonathan Agnew - and they are an assembly that have a good deal of experience at the highest level - you might be led to believe that having Test level experience is pretty fundamental. So it would be great to see what the ECB gave as criteria because this list really could have been put together one afternoon in Trap 1 reading the back pages of the Times and the Telegraph.
1) Andy Flowers - Formerly a fine Test cricketer from Zimbabwe who is now British. He averaged over 50 at Test level and that would enthuse the likes of Boycott. Sadly, as current Assistant Coach under the defunct Moores, he is perhaps tarred with the same brush. However, the man who received the toughest of treatment, former captain, KP, is one of Flowers' biggest supporters for the job and it could be fair to say he has done well as Acting Head Coach in the West Indies. After his batsmen have scored 8 centuries so far he could argue they are playing well, but at 1-0 down and yet to take 20 wickets in any of the Tests, it could argued he is one dimensional as a former batsman.
2) Ashley Giles - One of the heroes of Ashes 2005, England and Warwickshire's former left arm spinner and average late middle order batsman is ever popular in England. He is currently Director of Cricket at Warwickshire and has been their spin coach. He is a good lad in the dressing room and that could be one of his weaknesses. Strongly associated with former captain Michael Vaughan, he may be too close to the players to exert sufficient authority.
3) Graham Ford - Yes, who? A South African who is currently Director of Cricket at Kent, has the vast experience of playing just 7 first class matches and scored just 142 runs in the process. This puts him marginally ahead of me and a swathe of decent club and pub cricketers. Whilst some of his charges at Kent are supportive, it is prominent that he turned down one of the dream jobs in cricket which was to coach India while he is more of a media recluse than front man - and we thought Duncan Fletcher was bad. Frankly, how he made the list I don't know considering Kent haven't been exactly burning up the Championship - at least Fletcher proved himself by taking an unfancied team to the County Championship at Glamorgan.
4) Dav Whatmore - An Australian but we'll forgive him that although he may not be the ideal man to have around as coach when playing.....the Australians. Yes we have shades of Graham Henry coaching the Lions here. However, at least he did play a smidgen of Test cricket and in his 7 Tests he scored a mammoth 293 runs. He can certainly teach the likes of Strauss and Pietersen a thing or two then.
Actually he probably could. Having taken a second tier nation at Bangladesh to their first victories against top tier Test Nations, he has a good record of doing something with nothing - a strong qualifier for England. But there is a good deal more - he rebuilt Sri Lankan cricket and coached them to the thrilling World Cup win in 1996, he has coached Lancashire to double one-day cricket champions and is now Director of India's Cricketing Academy. This makes him sort of more of a one day specialist but what do I know?
He is widely respected and there is no doubt he has a superb track record working with lessor teams in international cricket which has earned him his plumb job now.
And that's it. No more candidates. Just because Headhunters are involved doesn't mean to say that we can poach other teams' coaches or find any up and coming talent who may be blazing a path to future glory. This is the sum of their diligent work.
Mistake After Mistake
Frankly, if the ECB are paying fees for that then they ought to be shot. Two blokes in a bar could have done the same in 30 minutes while they were more likely to come up with other, just as suitable, candidates. And why people like Tom Moody cannot be motivated to consider the position shows the Headhunters have just gone for fast track fees - the least path of resistance.
What do you expect? I suppose good on Odgers for diversifying from Finance and Hi Tech - no money in that any more.
Bring back Duncan Fletcher - all is forgiven, except that dreadful book you wrote!
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